I am a drag queen genius. I love being a drag queen - what I don't love is the way my feet and body feel at the end of the night. I usually wear a corset; an ancient torture device designed to limit one's breathing and redistribute and reposition fat rolls to a more acceptable space (unfortunately for me gravity works against me and pushes my fat rolls down giving the appearance of a foupa). On top of that, I'm usually stuff my feet into some pair of obnoxious heels that were clearly not meant for men's feet.

However, Saturday night I had a breakthrough. I was getting ready for my friend Franz's birthday party. The theme for the party was an anything but clothes party. I went through an exhaustive list of non-clothing accessories and materials I had - which as a drag queen, is a lot - and found that nothing was speaking to me. A duck tape dress sounded painful, a newspaper miniskirt sounded potentially dangerous, and I didn't have enough bows to make my bathing suit. I was getting frantic and desperate. Then ... all of it sudden it hit me. Rummaging through my already messy room, I flung my snuggie across the room. I stared at it, laying there in all of its magnificent glory, and thought to myself I can work with this. I managed to fashion a kimono out of a snuggie and a vibrant blue scarf. I looked like a ginger geisha. To complete the ensemble, I decided that nothing could glam up this outfit more than a pair of crocs.

The party was absolutely fantastic. Know what's awesome? Having a professional photographer at a party full of people with ridiculous costumes and outfits ... oh did I mention that said party happens to be at the house of another professional photographer who just happens to have a studio in his garage. We decided to have a photo shoot where we took 1200 photos of ourselves. One would think that we would all eventually tire of having amazing photos taken of ourselves ... but we did not. I am hopefully going to use the shots as promo pictures for the new fashion line I hope to start - Snuggie Couture. Imagine ... snuggie dresses, coats, shirts (unfortunately no vests as that would be counteractive to the theory of the snuggie). Of course, the most terrifying part of the night was wearing the 5 inch stiletto heels that were made entirely out of tape ... I tried to move as little as possible and just be seen in them.

I've decided that I will never wear anything else to an anything but clothes party. I have never been so comfortable as a drag queen before. In fact, part of me wants to wear nothing but snuggies and crocs the rest of my life ... however I don't feel that will go over too well.